Empathy

Adventures In Private Practice: Family Counselor Barbara Flor, LPC

Just six months ago Pennsylvania licensed professional counselor Barbara Flor opened her private practice. What inspired Barbara to take the leap into being her own boss? What challenges and joys has she experienced in the process? Read on.

Tell me a little about your practice…

I am a sole practitioner with an office in my home, in Mechanicsville, Pennsylvania.  I live on several acres surrounded by tranquil farms and tree-lined properties, so it’s a very peaceful, private setting.  I provide individual, family and group counseling for children, teens and adults with an emphasis on improving interpersonal relationships and family dynamics.  My years of experience as a school counselor, educator and victim’s rights advocate, gives me strong insight into issues affecting women, children and families as a whole.

Why did you decide to open a private practice?

I started my practice about 6 months ago, after years of dreaming, planning and procrastinating.  When my children were in college and I was an official “empty-nester”, I realized it was now or never.  I have been in the field of counseling and education for over 20 years, mostly working for schools and colleges, but I also volunteered my time at a victim’s assistance agency and became trained as a sexual assault counselor.  I have a passion for issues that impact women and children.   Owning a private practice allows me to concentrate on that passion.

Clients that therapists find to be the most “difficult” are sometimes the ones who can teach them the most. What have you learned from your toughest clients?

I have learned patience, empathy, flexibility and honesty. There is usually a reason people are the way they are.  Who am I to say that if I lived their life, in their environment, with the experiences they have endured, that I would be any different.  They are doing the best they can with the hand they’ve been dealt.  I need to do the best I can to help them with that and sometimes that means being honest and saying, “I’m feeling stuck, frustrated, confused...how can we move past this?”  With children, this can be even more difficult.  It’s imperative to meet the child on his or her developmental level and attempt to move forward from there in a manner that works for that child.  That may involve books, games, play, art, or talk therapy.

What’s your biggest pet peeve about private practice?

My biggest pet peeve in private practice is dealing with insurance.  I hope to someday become a private pay practice, but have found it is difficult to get started in my area without taking insurance.  I am competing with many other therapists who accept insurance.  I am on a few panels and am working consistently to get approved by more.  It is time consuming to do this and to do all the paperwork required to get paid.

How did you discover or develop your practice “niche”?

My passion is working with women and children.  While I do have several clients that fit in this “niche”, I also work with couples and families. I have to say I do enjoy the variety as well.  Many issues that affect women and children also affect couples and families, so the skills I have acquired over the years are helpful with all the populations I serve.  For many clients it comes down to relationships - relationships between parent and child, husband and wife, siblings, and other loved ones and significant others. We all have the basic need to feel loved, respected and to have a sense of safety, security and belonging.

What resource (book, website, person) helped you the most when setting up your private practice?

The Internet has been the overall, best source of help in my endeavor.  Between LinkedIn groups and Facebook groups for private practitioners, as well as numerous online resources and continuing education opportunities, I have massive amounts of information at my fingertips.  Specifically, Julie Hanks’ Facebook group, “Private Practice Toolbox” was the first resource I sought out and it helped me immensely.  I felt very comfortable and welcome in this group.  The members are kind and knowledgeable and are always there with helpful advice.  From there, I learned about other groups on LinkedIn, as well as books, websites and other people who have helped me along the way.  Joseph Sanok, a member of the “Private Practice Toolbox” Facebook group, helped me with the resources I needed to create my own website.  And many other members encouraged me to start a blog.  I could not have done all that I have in the last six months without these helpful, knowledgeable profession also.  It also hasn’t hurt to have a husband who is a financial guru.

What has surprised you most about being in private practice?

I am most surprised that I find being in private practice so fulfilling.  I truly love spending time in, and working on, my practice.  It is my “baby” and as they say, “If you love what you do, you never have to work a day in your life”.

Has your private practice helped you grow professionally?

I have learned so much about myself as a professional and the things I am capable of doing.  It has given me the self-confidence to continue moving forward, even on the rough days.

Has it helped you grow personally, too?

Personally, it is a great feeling to know you are a professional who can earn a living doing something you love.

Being a therapist can be emotionally exhausting. What do you do to care for your own emotional and psychological health?  

Walk. Laugh. Love. I love to walk.  I try my best to walk at least 30 minutes a day, preferably outside if weather permits.  I love to laugh.  It is true that laughter is often the best medicine.  I make sure to try and laugh everyday, whether by watching enjoyable television shows, funny movies, or connecting with family and friends, I can feel the stress leaving my body when I laugh.  I recommend this to my clients as well.

How do you cope with the inevitable stressors involved with being your own boss?

I have had some very difficult jobs in my life.  When I am having a particularly difficult day, I think of those former challenges.   So far, nothing in private practice has been as stressful as some of those experiences!

What personal strengths have helped you succeed in private practice?

I have a strong business background consisting of an undergraduate degree in business, combined with experience working in business and with business start-ups.  This has been very helpful.  A private practice is a business.  Graduate school in the mental health field does not prepare you for the business side of private practice.  If you don’t have those skills, it is imperative that you get them, or find someone who can help you.

In addition, I have a very strong work ethic.  I am disciplined, responsible, and organized.  I have always lived by the motto, “Work first, play second.”  This has served me well.

 For more information about Barbara's private practice visit www.barbaraflor.com

 

The Hazards Of Being A Therapist

Achtung: Lebensgefahr!

Guest post by Regina Bright, MS, LMHC

I have been working in mental health for about 12 years. I listen to clients in crisis for many hours a day, providing support, empathy, interpretation and direction. As therapists, we can easily lose track of our own issues, ignore our own problems, and at times have difficulty shutting off the therapeutic processing.

In order to be a good therapist, it is necessary to take care of ourselves — our clients depend on it. Just because we know everything there is to know about stress management doesn’t mean that we are immune from becoming mentally exhausted. If you are feeling detached or apathetic toward your clients, yourself, or your relationships you could be experiencing emotional fatigue.

Here are some ways that I like to take care of my own needs so I can continue to support my clients:

I use my colleagues’ expertise regularly. We go to lunch and consult each other on difficult cases. We bounce around different techniques and approaches that could heighten the therapeutic process.

I belong to many professional organizations and am very involved in my community. I feel that if I have the support of my community, then I am not alone in my journey. I enjoy volunteering and giving back to my community whenever possible. It makes me feel good to see that I have helped others with a small donation of my time.

I enjoy spending time with my family. Going to the beach and reading or walking is especially refreshing. I have two Labrador retrievers who demand a lot of attention. I find a great escape just going out into the backyard and throwing the Frisbee for an hour.

My family enjoys going on vacation. I take two trips a year with the family and then one with just my husband.

My practice is in my hometown. I have developed many friendships over the years. I enjoy spending time with many different groups of people. I am very thankful for the friendships that I have made.

In college, I had different goals. I could do and wanted to do everything that came to my mind. I achieved more things in one day than most people did in a week. My priorities have changed. I have a family now and I find it necessary to relax. Now, I want to balance giving and getting – attention to my family, friends, spouse, community, and solitude.

As a mental health professional, self-care is a minimum standard of professional practice. Your clients deserve to be served by a healthy, well-balanced health care professional. Every mental health professional has vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and needs. Take time today to identify yours.

About The Author:

Regina Bright is the owner of Stepping Stones Professional Counseling, a Mary Esther private practice. She is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, a Clinical Supervisor, a Parent Coordinator and a Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator. At Stepping Stones Professional Counseling, they provide individual, group, couples and family counseling. Call 850-226-6430 or visit SteppingStonesCounseling.org

 

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5 Tips From My Trip To Guest Post Heaven

How my guest blog post landed a feature spot on Yahoo! front page and 5 things that you can learn from my experience.

Last week I received an email from Anne Krueger, the Editorial Director at Sharecare, letting me know that my Sharecare guest post Empathy: The Secret Sauce To A Happy Marriage was being featured on Yahoo front page in the #1 slot!

By the end of last week my article was featured again on Yahoo! front page as "Popular This Week." As of today, the article has had 6.8K Facebook shares and 468 retweets on Twitter. Yes, I am basking in the glow of guest post heaven.

So, how did this happen? Last Dec. Sharecare (an interactive social media health Q & A platform founded by Dr. Oz, WebMD's founder Jeff Arnold, and Discovery Communications) named me the #1 online influencer making a difference for depression online. They determine the online influencers by calculating influence "including disease-area relevance and online syndication, presence and reach" throughout the past year and "across multiple online channels, including Twitter, blogs, forums, mainstream news and video." (Sharecare)

At the time I was blogging regularly on JulieHanks.com, WasatchFamilyTherapy.com, PsychCentral.com, also contributing to local NBC affiliate KSL.com, regularly going news interviews, and actively sharing content on several social media platforms.

After being named the top depression influencer I got acquainted with some of the folks at Sharecare, including their always delightful and witty Sharecare editorial director Anne Kreuger. I asked Anne if I could start submitting guest blog posts on mental health and relationship topics that might helpful to their readers. Anne has generously published several of my articles on Sharecare's main blog, one of which ended up on Yahoo last week.

What can you learn from my accidental trip to guest blog heaven? Here are 5 things I did right that landed me on Yahoo! front page last week -- my guest blog heaven.

Tip #1 Publish killer content on your own website

Create great content on your own website to prove to "big shots" that you can deliver a good guest post for their readers. Post new content at least once a week on your own blog about your specialty areas and topics of interest to your ideal clients.

Tips #2 Tweet, post, like, & share every day

Share your blog content and other relevant articles on multiple social media channels to build your social media following and reputation as an expert. I share my articles, Q&A's, and website links daily on Twitter, Facebook profile, Facebook pages, Youtube, iTunes podcast, Pinterest, Google+, StumbleUpon, Ning, and LinkedIn.

I've learned that social media sharing is more than just broadcasting information into cyberspace. It's about having meaningful conversations online. I ask questions, respond, and genuinely care about making a difference for good in their lives of anyone who follows me online. Follower engagement (comments, shares, retweets) was a big factor in getting recognized by Sharecare. It still blows my mind.

Tip #3 Create win-win relationships

Consider how you can provide value to the site that you're pitching to, not just how they can provide exposure for you and your practice. Do your research on the website's readership before you pitch a guest post so you can provide something worthwhile to their readers. Nurture those relationships as you would other important professional relationships through an occasional email, tweet or phone call.

Tip #4 Pitch BIG

When you pitch a guest blog post to another site make sure they are A LOT bigger than your own website. Target high traffic sites and appeal to your ideal clients, particularly in your geographic area. You can find out how the site ranks by searching Alexa.com. Remember, that on Alexa a lower score mean a higher traffic and the more desirable it will be to guest post there. You provide excellent content for them and they provide you with additional visibility and visits to your practice website.

Tip #5 Promote the heck out of your guest post

When you land a guest blog on a big website share it everywhere -- social media, newsletters, websites, email, and press releases. By directing more traffic to the site that publishes your guest post you demonstrate your value and your influence. This increases the likelihood that you will able to continue to guest posting for them, which helps drive traffic to your website.

Tip #5 Think long term growth

Did being featured on Yahoo front page directly impact my practice last week? No. We haven't had thousands of phone call for new clients this week at Wasatch Family Therapy. Though this blog post had thousands, maybe millions of hits, it hasn't, and won't translate immediately into growth of my practice. What it does do is add credibility to me as an expert, add more value to my article, and demonstrate that my guest blogs appeals to a wide audience. All of those things are valuable exposure that will help open up additional opportunities over time.

Now, here's what I did wrong. There's NO LINK to my website on the Yahoo article. When this article posted on Sharecare it was accompanied by my author bio which linked to my websites. So, from now on I'm going to request a link at the end of each guest blog article in the text area, and not in a separate author bio. I guess something had to bring me back to earth.

(c) Can Stock Photo

World Mental Health Day: I've Never Met A Shrink Who Didn't Need One

I blog for World Mental Health DayMy grandpa used to say, "I never met a shrink who didn't need one," as if that was a valid reason for not seeking help for mental health problems. After being a therapist for nearly two decades, I totally agree with my Grandpa.

Therapists are an interesting and colorful bunch and we definitely have our own share of mental health problems. I'd take grandpa's phrase even farther by saying I've never met a person who didn't need a shrink. We can all benefit from examining our experiences and getting an outside perspective from a mental health professional during difficult times.

The most effective therapists I've worked with, as a colleague and as a client, are those who've already worked through some of their own mental health and relationship struggles with a therapist, have a handle on their own pain and vulnerability, understand their family relationship patterns, and are comfortable walking with others through their pain. Not only is working through issues with your own therapist good for your own mental health and personal relationships, it's also good for your therapy practice.

Here are 5 Reasons Your Own Therapy Is Good For Your Practice:

1- Increased empathy for and effectiveness with clients

Being willing to be "the client" in therapy is a gift to your own clients. Just like it's impossible to be a trail guide on a mountain you've never climbed, it's impossible to take a client into emotional terrain you've never traveled before. As we sit with clients in their painful crises, we are better able to "go there" with them in the therapy process if we can access of our own experiences.

2- Awareness of countertransference keep clients engaged in therapy

After training and managing therapists for several years, I've noticed that those who've done their own work in therapy have a better handle on countertransference issues that arise with their clients, they are less overwhelmed by the feelings, and they are more willing to process their own emotions in supervision. Therapists who have done their own therapeutic work  are better able to keep clients engaged in meaningful therapy, which is crucial to success in private practice.

3- Feel deserving of success and financial compensation

Therapist's I've supervised or consulted with who have difficulty collecting fees, setting boundaries, or allowing themselves to be successful in their practice are usually plagued by unresolved issues from their past. Working through your own childhood wounds, past trauma, or family of origin issues can free you to create and to embrace your own success in private practice.

4- Healthy boundaries with client's and colleagues

Therapists who've done their own work are less likely to enact their unresolved issues with colleagues and clients. They are also able to set and maintain appropriate boundaries with clients with out guilt. For example, if a therapist is still stuck in trying to please a parent, it may be extremely difficult for a therapist to tell a client that they don't have any evening appointments available because they may want to avoid dealing the client's disappointment.

5- Create a meaningful practice and avoid burnout

Your own work in therapy allows you to be a healthier individual and create a thriving therapy practice. Unresolved and untreated mental health issues will block your success. Your business will likely mirror the places you're stuck personally.  Doing your own therapy work will allow you to feel empowered to work with clients that energize you, work from an abundance mindset, and feel worthy of professional success.

How has your own work in therapy impacted your private practice?

Read my World Mental Health Day blog post on JulieHanks.com "Do your emotional family history"