Therapist Blog Challenge #18: Agree to Disagree

challenge_18

Therapist blog challenge #18 deals with how to have a disagreement with a loved one while still preserving your relationship.   

[Headline] Come up with a catchy title for your blog post. Here are a few examples:

Debating with Dignity: How to Disagree and Still Be Friends

Maintaining Relationships When You Having Different Opinions

Agree to Disagree: Respectfully Holding Differing Views

[Strong Intro] Lay out the topic with a little more detail in an opening paragraph. Below is an example:

There's no shortage of controversial issues in our world. Politics, religion, social issues, and even personal tastes in music and art can cause conflict in our interactions with others. But what happens when you disagree about certain topics with a romantic partner, family member, or close friend? Can you maintain your views without sabotaging your relationship? Yes! Here are 5 strategies to disagreeing on certain issues while still maintaining a strong connection with your loved one:

[Scanable Content] Break your content into smaller, readable sections with a clear sub-heading.

Is It Worth It? 

Before engaging in a (heated) debate, ask yourself if the discussion is valuable enough to have. If you feel strongly about a particular subject, then maybe it is worth it to express yourself and make sure you are heard. But if it's a topic that doesn't resonate personally or is otherwise irrelevant, it's probably not a good idea to risk putting a strain on your relationship. A common saying is that, "you don't have to attend every argument you're invited to." Additionally, be conscious of your environment. A workplace or family gathering is not the place to have a heated debate. If you feel you must discuss something controversial, make sure you have a private setting in which to do so.

Practice Respect

If you do decide to freely discuss something about which you disagree, respect is crucial. Always, always avoiding name-calling and yelling. No argument is worth that. Being respectful with your words and body language can not only preserve your relationship, but can also facilitate the conversation and make it more productive. The famous actress/ comedian Amy Poehler has said, "If you can speak about what you care about to someone you disagree with, you just may be heard."

Find Common Ground       

Take a moment to find things you do agree upon. For example, perhaps you are discussing a current health issue. It's a good idea to acknowledge not only your differing opinions, but also to state that you both want a solution that will benefit society. Finding common ground can help you relate to one another. You don't necessarily have to surrender your viewpoint, but try to reach some level of consensus.

Check Your Pride      

It's not uncommon for conversations about controversial subjects to devolve into power-struggles. Make sure you are expressing your beliefs instead of exercising your pride. Avoid engaging in debate simply to satisfy your ego, as this can lead to things escalating out of control. Don't allow your desire to be right become more important than your relationship.

Take a Break     

Discussions about the hot button issues have a way of dragging on forever. Those involved often go around in circles, and at some point, the conversation is no longer productive. If you find yourself hearing or repeating the same arguments, or if things become too heated, take a break. Better yet, end the conversation altogether! While you don't necessarily need to avoid disagreement altogether, you have to know when to stop.

[Strong ending paragraph] The final paragraph wraps up your post and can include a summary of important points.

Disagreeing on tough issues can be done in a loving, productive way. Not every debate needs to end with one person converting to the other's point of view; and that's okay (especially in relationships)! By using respectful language, keeping your pride and emotions in check, and stopping if things get too intense, you can successfully agree to disagree.

Additional reminders about the Therapist Blog Challenge:

• Write and post your blog article in the next 2 weeks. If you miss the deadline or you read this article months later, that’s OK too. Post a link for this blog challenge in the comment section of this blog post.
• Read, comment, and share other therapist’s articles.
• Tweet your post using hashtag #therapistblog and tag @julie_hanks so I can retweet it.
• Pin it on the challenge Pinterest Board. I’ve invited everyone who posted a comment on the initial blog challenge post as collaborators so you can pin onto the group board.
• Spread the word and invite mental health colleagues to join the challenge. Articles can be added anytime throughout the year.
• Write no more than 600 words, make it easy to read, use a conversational tone, and gear your articles toward your ideal client (not other professionals).
• The goal of a professional blog is to provide value to your website visitors, help them get to know your professional perspective, increase traffic to your private practice website, and build your practice.

Join my Private Practice Toolbox Facebook group and connect with 3000 therapists around the globe in 2 simple steps: 1) Click request to join the group and 2) Fill out this brief questionnaire before you'll be added to the group.Get practice tips and blog updates in your inbox.

Sign up for the Private Practice Toolbox Newsletter here.

Therapist Blog Challenge #14: Feedback in Romantic Relationships

Therapist blog challenge #14 topic focuses on when to ask for and to consider feedback about a significant other.

[Headline] Come up with a catchy title for your blog post.  Here are a few examples:

Dating & the Peanut Gallery: What Other People Say About Your Love Life

Tough Critics: What they Really Think About Your Significant Other

To Ask or Not To Ask: Should You Talk to Your Friends About Your Romantic Partner?

[Strong Intro] Lay out the topic with a little more detail.  Below is an example.

Should you ask your friends if they like your romantic partner? Should you listen to what they say? What are the pros and cons of getting feedback about your relationships?

Dating relationships can bring complex dynamics:  Both parties have family and friends involved in their life who care about their well-being.  But things can get tricky when that extends into romantic relationships.   Here are things to consider when talking to other people  about a romantic partner.

 [Scanable Content]

Break your content into smaller, readable sections with a clear sub-heading.  For this example, we'll lay out Do's and Don'ts when it comes to asking for and giving relationship feedback/ advice.

When should you ask for feedback?

Write about times when it might be appropriate for person in a relationship to ask for the opinions of other people.  Maybe they want an outside perspective of how the relationships looks to others.

When should you not ask for feedback?

Write a short paragraph about when a person shouldn't ask for advice.  This might include breaking the confidence of the romantic partner or discussing very personal, intimate details of the relationship.

When should you listen to feedback?

Now, write to a paragraph about when one should seriously consider loved one's feedback about a significant other. For example, if several loved ones share similar warning signs those should be taken into consideration. Or if "He/she is a great fit for you."

When should you not listen to feedback?

Write a paragraph about when a person should refrain from trusting loved one's feedback about their romantic partner. You could explore who's feedback you should not take into consideration, and what types of feedback you should dismiss. For example, it's never a good idea to listen to superficial concerns about someone's looks or chosen profession.

[Strong ending paragraph] The final paragraph wraps up your post and can include a summary of important points, additional resources, and a call to action, such as "Call today for a therapy consultation."

That's all folks. Get going.

Here are a few additional reminders about the blog challenge:

• Write and post your blog article in the next 2 weeks. If you miss the deadline or you read this article months later, that’s OK too.
• Post a link for this blog challenge in the comment section of this blog post.
• Read, comment, and share other therapist’s articles.
• Tweet your post using hashtag #therapistblog and tag @julie_hanks so I can retweet it.
• Pin it on the challenge Pinterest Board. I’ve invited everyone who posted a comment on the initial blog challenge post as collaborators so you can pin onto the group board.
• Spread the word and invite mental health colleagues to join the challenge. Articles can be added anytime throughout the year.
• Write no more than 600 words, make it easy to read, use a conversational tone, and gear your articles toward your ideal client (not other professionals).
• The goal of a professional blog is to provide value to your website visitors, help them get to know your professional perspective, increase traffic to your private practice website, and build your practice.

Here's a list of previous blog challenges. Jump in anytime!

Pause Before Posting About Work On Personal Social Media Pages (part 1)

We all need to vent about a hard day at work, but clinicians should think twice before posting on personal social network pages.

Guest post by Kimberly Sandstrom, MFTI

Have you ever have a long day at the office and wanted to vent your frustration to someone? Me too! We are containers of all sorts of confidential information and sometimes our containers get full, or we get triggered by something that happened during the day. It’s hard to hold it all in at times—especially when it touches or triggers some reaction in us. Yet, we are called to an oath of confidentiality, and sensitivity to our client’s information. For most, venting to a trusted colleague or a relaxation activity can be enough. Yet, some therapists use their personal social media accounts to release stress about their clients. Can’t believe clinicians do this? Read on.

As therapists, we reach in, listen, validate our client’s pain and help them make sense of it so that they can reflect, respond, and repair the distance in their relationships. It can be emotionally draining work. And we need ways to work out our stress. But are personal social media accounts the place to do this? Probably not.

Yet, some therapists post things their clients did or said that made them laugh or made them upset.  Yes, you read that right. I’ve seen complaints about cancellations, clients not following treatment plans, and negligent parents. Then there are the posts intended to be funny—pictures of notes clients left for them (yes, I have seen this), pictures of children in the local paper they treat (this too!). Friends comment back “lol” or similar funny retorts, and then everyone gets a good laugh.

My heart drops whenever I read these posts.

What about all the people in their friendship circle who are in therapy or contemplating therapy? Do they wonder if their own therapist is posting something they said? I know I would.

We have such a wonderful opportunity to promote a positive image o

f ourselves and our therapeutic community and to cultivate confidence in the therapy process (see Julie Hanks' article on using social media in practice). We also have an opportunity to foster community with our public who often need courage just to pick up the phone and call us for support. Posting about clients negatively undermines these opportunities!

The good news is that therapists who post in a negative or comical fashion about their clients are definitely in the minority. And, given that I have seen some of these posts myself online from people I know, I take the view that their posts are not meant to be harmful but meant to release steam from a difficult day, or to draw others in as a way to cope with the “compassion fatigue” often experienced in this line of work. While the person posting does not intend harm, ultimately, in a round-about-way, they can elicit harm. How do we address this problem as we experience stress burnout and how do we address this with our therapeutic community?

Next time, I will provide tips on how to create self-awareness of our personal postings about our work, promote a positive image of therapy, and how to approach colleagues who may not be aware of how their posts about clients impact our wonderful therapeutic community.

Kimberly Sandstrom is a Marriage & Family Therapist Intern and Relationship Educator, Supervised by Kathryn de Bruin, LMFT, working in private practice in San Diego, CA. Married for 24 years, she and her husband are raising three daughters, two of whom are now adults.  She works with couples, and families to create emotionally safe and enduring connections in their most cherished relationships.

The Hazards Of Being A Therapist

Guest post by Regina Bright, MS, LMHC

I have been working in mental health for about 12 years. I listen to clients in crisis for many hours a day, providing support, empathy, interpretation and direction. As therapists, we can easily lose track of our own issues, ignore our own problems, and at times have difficulty shutting off the therapeutic processing.

In order to be a good therapist, it is necessary to take care of ourselves — our clients depend on it. Just because we know everything there is to know about stress management doesn’t mean that we are immune from becoming mentally exhausted. If you are feeling detached or apathetic toward your clients, yourself, or your relationships you could be experiencing emotional fatigue.

Here are some ways that I like to take care of my own needs so I can continue to support my clients:

I use my colleagues’ expertise regularly. We go to lunch and consult each other on difficult cases. We bounce around different techniques and approaches that could heighten the therapeutic process.

I belong to many professional organizations and am very involved in my community. I feel that if I have the support of my community, then I am not alone in my journey. I enjoy volunteering and giving back to my community whenever possible. It makes me feel good to see that I have helped others with a small donation of my time.

I enjoy spending time with my family. Going to the beach and reading or walking is especially refreshing. I have two Labrador retrievers who demand a lot of attention. I find a great escape just going out into the backyard and throwing the Frisbee for an hour.

My family enjoys going on vacation. I take two trips a year with the family and then one with just my husband.

My practice is in my hometown. I have developed many friendships over the years. I enjoy spending time with many different groups of people. I am very thankful for the friendships that I have made.

In college, I had different goals. I could do and wanted to do everything that came to my mind. I achieved more things in one day than most people did in a week. My priorities have changed. I have a family now and I find it necessary to relax. Now, I want to balance giving and getting – attention to my family, friends, spouse, community, and solitude.

As a mental health professional, self-care is a minimum standard of professional practice. Your clients deserve to be served by a healthy, well-balanced health care professional. Every mental health professional has vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and needs. Take time today to identify yours.

About The Author:

Regina Bright is the owner of Stepping Stones Professional Counseling, a Mary Esther private practice. She is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, a Clinical Supervisor, a Parent Coordinator and a Florida Supreme Court Family Mediator. At Stepping Stones Professional Counseling, they provide individual, group, couples and family counseling. Call 850-226-6430 or visit SteppingStonesCounseling.org

e/rol via Compfight

Pin A Quote: My New Social Media Marketing 'Crush'

Pin A Quote is a quick and fun way to create a graphic out of your favorite quotes. It allows you to highlight any text and with the click of a button, turn it into a shareable graphic that is automatically links to the site where you found the text. Though it's designed to interface with Pinterest, you don't have to have a Pinterest account to use Pin A Quote.

Once you've selected the quote and created your graphic, Pin A Quote creates a custom URL for that specific quote that you can share on Facebook, Twitter, or other social media sites, and of course, Pinterest.

Here's a screenshot of what I'm talking about. I use Pin A Quote Pro because you can customize the fonts and colors for $1.99. Notice the link at the bottom is the page on my website. When people click on the graphic they'll be directed to that web page.

You may be wondering how this is relevant to your private practice. Good question. Important elements of marketing your private practice are:

1. Building a professional online presence
2. Presenting yourself as an expert in your specialty area
3. Attracting an online following that views you as a valuable resource
4. Creating links that direct more visitors to your website

Pin A Quote can help you accomplish all of these goals.

How To Use Pin A Quote

Here's a brief tutorial published by Pin A Quote on how to use the tool.

Using Pin A Quote To Build Your Practice

1) Share other's inspirational or helpful quotes

If you find an article that would be helpful to your followers, you can create a graphic and direct people to the article. Another idea is to quote your favorite psychology gurus and use it as an additional graphic in a blog post. Here's one of my favorites:

2) Quote yourself as an expert

Take a sentence from a professional presentation or blog post that you've presented and create a graphic of your own quotes. This helps build your identity as an expert and lets others share your wisdom.

3) Engage followers by sharing quotes on social media

Look back at the graphic at the top of this post. See the share buttons on the bottom? You can share quotes on Facebook, Twitter, StumbleUpon, etc. Here's an example of my Private Practice Toolbox board on Pinterest. You'll see that I've pinned many quotes using Pin A Quote.

Try it out and let me know what you think. Feel free to post links to quote graphics you create in the comments below.